I appologize ahead of time if this post is a little all over the place! I just have a few things on my heart that I want to get out...
I feel like I have so many things I want to blog about lately but no time to do it! I wonder why? :-) Today is Friday which is always a happy thing here at the R's. And, my fabulous hubs woke me up this morning and I got to go on a walk all by myself on this gorgeous, crisp morning! And now I am sitting at the computer in a quiet house (aside from the grunting of my youngest) drinking my coffee and finally getting the chance to blog.
Things have been kind of crazy for me emotionally lately... I know, hormones! I can cry at the drop of the hat, just ask my poor husband! But, I also feel like God is really speaking to me a lot right now. Maybe he is talking even louder than usual to be heard over my 3 small children! But, in any case, I feel like I am really hearing him lately! Praise Him for that!
I feel like having Jack really has changed my heart. More so than when I had the other children. Jack came at a really peaceful time in our lives where as the other two came when things were kind of crazy so I was easily distracted. But, with Jack, my mind has been totally focused. He is such a special little baby. I feel like he has come and filled a hole in our family that we weren't even sure was there. He makes me feel more complete and when all 5 of us are sitting together I can't help but just feel so whole. He is such a blessing to our family already.
Since he has been born I feel like God has revealed to me some of the ickiness in my heart and in how I act sometimes and I love that. It is a hard process but I want God to search me and know my heart. I want to be Christ-like. And I want to be the best wife and mom that I can. I am just so beyond grateful for what God has done for us and what He is doing in our lives right now.
This morning on my walk there was a group of middle schoolers waiting for the bus. I couldn't help but remember back to when I was in middle school and even then dreamed of one day being a wife and mother. I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. Who am I that God would make my dreams come true? But, I believe God put those dreams in me and I am so thankful that he did. I can't imagine my life without my Nick, Max, Sophie and Jack.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts." Psalm 139:23