Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Loving when people don't love back
I just wanted to drop in today and offer some encouragement to any of you that are struggling in relationships with family or friends. I am an oldest child which tends to equal perpetual people pleaser. I love to have people like me and I have a desire to be friends with everyone. But, over the last several years I am learning that not everyone is going to like me or want to be friends with me and honestly, this still kind of kills me. I love people and long to be accepted! And there was a time (and are still moments) when I would do or say just about anything to make that happen.
I went through a period of really struggling in this area because I was struggling in a few relationships I had. Christians in my life who were putting enormous pressure on me to "love my enemies" and it would fix everything. The thing was that I WAS "loving my enemies" they just weren't loving back! I was believing that if I did everything God's way that everyone would like me. But, God never promises us that everyone will like us. In fact, he kind of promises us the opposite. And in the past year or so I am realizing that loving our enemies is not something we necessarily do FOR our enemies. And it is not a formula to get people to like us. But, it is a way we can be obedient to God.
It is hard when people don't accept me or desire to be friends with me. But, I just want to offer encouragement that if you are in a difficult relationship the only one you need to worry about pleasing is God. If you are showing someone in your life lots of love and encouragement and they don't respond or if they respond negatively, remember the one who you are really doing it for.
I am linking up at Women Living Well!